First and foremost, you have to remember who it is that you’re speaking to, explained Steven Hassan, Ph.D., founder and director of Freedom of Mind Resource Center, and author of The Cult of Trump.
“If you’re speaking with someone who is a relative or a childhood friend, you can go back in your mind to remember who they were before, and keep telling yourself they’re still there,” said Hassan. “They’ve been hacked. They’re going to come out. So, how can I help them just realize for themselves that they’re not happy there?”
From there, he said to remember those good memories and focus on cultivating a warm and curious rapport that is centered around simple, effective, and concise questions that you already know the answers to.
The questions can be along the lines of “Tell me more about why you believe this to be true?” or “Where did you get this information from?”
“And then be patient and quiet while the person thinks and responds,” said Hassan. “And I often recommend to my clients to mirror back by saying, ‘So did I understand you correctly?’ ‘You believe this and this and this?’, and the person gets to say ‘yes’ and know that you were really listening to them, and then you ask a follow-up question and a follow-up question.”
From there, the person you’re speaking with will understand that you’re truly listening and trying to understand, which can help to build a respectful relationship that can allow for further dialogue.
